i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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