It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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