my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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