then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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