you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
