everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
