His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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