erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
