Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
