just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize