We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
