Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
