Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just found puke in my bra..
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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