I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
no. you can't hotbox the world.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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