Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
