Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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