Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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