I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
where does the pee come out of this thing
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
