I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
