we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
