Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
where am i from again
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
