theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize
