the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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