Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
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