Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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