there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
