I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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