i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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