fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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