We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
