my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i came on her dog
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
