I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Enjoy the penises
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
