dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
