found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize