those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
