Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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