So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
