next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
