I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
