i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize