I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
