He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
