I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
