I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
