i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize