She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
