When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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