theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
