So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
