guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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