he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
