youre lurking in front of me
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
