On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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