Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
