.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
