I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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