5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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