That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
