What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
