I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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