pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
