the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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