I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
