guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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