it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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