Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
