can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
