so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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