I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
