That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
